work

Just another wonderful day full of PT, grand plies, and working at home on dance stuff! I am still not 100% but working every day to get there! Time for some ice and rest and then we do it again tomorrow! I can't wait to really start flying!!! I am ready to start another week full of dance and PT. I am grateful.

"You aren't being punished, you're being taught." -TDL

Things to ponder #64

Go after your dream, no matter how unattainable others think it is. -Linda Mastandrea

grateful

OMG, every single part of my body is sore and achy and I couldn't be happier! I am so grateful to be a part of JKDC and I can't wait for more classes and rehearsals....and performing!!!! I love PT, I love grand plies and I LOVE DANCE!

"I don't run away from a challenge because I'm afraid, instead I run towards it and trample it beneath my feet."

-Nadia Comaneci

things to ponder #63

“Of all the liars in the world sometimes the worst are our own fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

if you can get to the end it makes it worth it!

192 days post op and today was my first official day at JKDC rehearsal! I'm finally back! I'm still working on strengthening and baby stepping my way back but yay! I'm back!

There are no words to describe being back. It's like, my life is complete again. I'm doing the thing I love most in this world - dancing with the greatest company in the entire world! I can't wait to be back on stage!

"the injury has definitely set me back, it's made it more challenging, it's gonna take a lot longer, but i like the challenge....

...if you can get to the end then it makes it worth it!"

-Shawn Johnson

Things to ponder #62

From: THE DAILY LOVE

Thursday January 27, 2011

Keep the faith. Just keep it. Holding firm in your belief about the life you want and taking action from that place creates miracles. The ride may be rocky. Times may sometimes be tough. Things might not always work out the way you want them to, but if you keep the faith that your ideal scene in life is possible and never give up, soon enough it will come round to you. There is always hope. When you want to give up, when all seems lost, when there seems to be no reason to keep going - THIS MOMENT - is the moment to press on one more day. It is those who press on beyond the low points in life that push through that barrier of resistance into a seemingly magical world. Faith is where it begins. Acting on your faith is how it happens. You do not have faith if you stop believing when things go wrong. The depth of your faith is tested when things go wrong. You can't say you really have faith if you give up when things get tough. That's not real faith, that's pretend faith. Someone who has true faith in themselves and in The Uni-verse will press on no matter what the circumstance is. There is no challenge too small for someone who is rooted in faith. There is no time that is too hard, because those with faith keep their ideal outcome in mind and know that they are stronger than their circumstances. It's a well known that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. If money is tight, if no one believes in your dreams, if you just want to give up, remember you have a GIGANTIC TRUST FUND of faith that you can use. Get busy spending your faith every day; it can never run out. Your dreams are real. Take action to make it so. Don't give up. Just press on one day at a time - the dawn will break, my friend, the dawn WILL break! TODAY'S AFFIRMATIONS

I choose faith over fear. I walk knowing my destination. Today, I choose to get up and try again.

dear grande plies, oh how i have missed you

Today was a day full of ups and downs, but thankfully I am now able to listen to my body and (for the most part) figure out what is going on.

But today, I did something unbelievable! Now I know a lot of you have no idea what this is but I did grand plies today!!! (see image below) I can't even begin to describe how awesome it felt to be able to do that! I learned that the reason it's so painful is because of the screw in my tibia. In the same way you have to build up callouses on your hands so you can swing bars in gymnastics, I have to build up a callous in the tibia bone. I was also compensating a lot and favoring my knee and putting a tremendous amount of weight on the other side of my body which was causing muscle confusion and weakness. So, I have added in more strength exercises and I am ready to fly!

Things are looking up and I am excited for what lies ahead.

(This image was found on google under grand plie)

525,600 minutes...

I can't believe 15 years ago today we lost a man who changed so many lives. RIP Jonathan Larson. Thank you for RENT, for teaching us about life, how to live in the moment and to MEASURE YOUR LIFE IN LOVE. "There's only now, there's only here, give in to love or live in fear, no other path, no other way, NO DAY BUT TODAY...."

In loving memory of Jonathan Larson who flew to heaven January 25, 1996

Quote of the day:

"telling me not to dance is like telling pegasus not to fly..." -Kelly Ripa

Best Day Ever!

wow! I just got the BEST gift from my director! I laughed, I cried, and I realized that yes,

I. AM. A. DANCER.

...and the best is yet to come!!!!

Today I had a private and it was the first time that I wasn't "scared" on my knee. I was still careful, of course, but that timid fear was gone. And isn't it funny how the universe works? Because before I went in, I turned it over. I decided that, just for today, I was going to have fun and work and not let the fear in...and the minute I let it all go, the fear was lifted.

Who knows what's ahead tomorrow or the day after or the day after...all I know is, today, was by far, the BEST DAY EVER!

"Keep in mind that synchronicity sometimes means NOT getting what you want. If you were headed in a certain direction and all of a sudden the proverbial rug is "pulled out from under you", do not see this as a bad thing. See these moments as great big gifts from the universe. Sometimes the universe makes us fall, but only to help rise again in the right direction." -TDL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARISKA HARGITAY!!!!!!

If You Believe!

FLYING!

with a lil hope and a lil faith.....ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!

things to ponder #61

Do not worry if a door closes... There is another one open with an even greater outcome for you. Trust. See It." -TDL

things to ponder #60

joyful heart by Mariska Hargitay

our hearts…
guide us,
sustain us,
inspire us,
give us strength and courage -
and fill us with
infinite joy.

treat your heart gently,
listen to its wisdom.
nourish it.
water it daily.
so it can grow -
and then smile with pride when
you feel it open.

Sunday January 23, 2011

It is officially day 187 post op.

Friday, January 21st marked day 185 post op and 6 months since July 21, 2010 when LiL Knee went into surgery. And Saturday, January 22nd was day 186 post op and 8 months since May 22, 2010, when I ruptured my ACL.

And so, I went back to the first posting in this blog, read what I wrote and wanted to share it with you again....

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Allison Case started a blog when she was injured. Here is what it said:

"one day you're invincible. one day they tell you you're not. but you realize you still are. but you begin to learn that this is all part of being invincible: bouncing back, keeping the faith, fighting the good fights, still being forever grateful. and knowing this too shall pass. i just started to undergo tests for a hip injury which has completely changed my life. literally one day everything changed. so here i can tell you whats on my mind, what the process is like and prove to you change doesn't mean bad. it means change. here we go...

here's a place to find randomness. inspiration (i hope). and who knows what else. i have no expectations. i only know i may have a lot to share during my hippie time."

I never thought I would be facing an injury this severe at this point in my career, but here I sit, 55 days into a knee injury that will require surgery and a lot of rehab in order to get back to my life, my love...dance, gymnastics, aerial arts, etc.

So, like Allison, I hope you will be able to find some kind of inspiration here. Something that you can relate to - something to inspire you - something that says, "yes, this totally sucks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be ok"

I'm determined to rehab myself back into the studio as soon as possible. I have faith that everything will be ok. And even though I don't feel like learning anything else right now, I know this time is going to change my life for the better.

And so here I am, 247 days since I ruptured my ACL. I have been up. I have been down. I have been upside down and inside out but through it all, I keep going. I keep moving forward. I am still not 100%. I am still working my way back. But I know that, today, like all the yesterdays before will bring me another lesson....and like the song says...I'm not afraid to fall...cause I'll never stop getting up!

LiL Knee - Day 184

I made it through another floor barre class and JK class today and LiL Knee is feeling pretty good. I also added in more PT tonight. Tomorrow will be 6 months since July 21st...the day I had surgery and Saturday will be 8 months since May 22nd when this whole nightmare began.

Looking back on that day and the days that followed...I have learned so much about myself, about others and about life. I am glad I am where I am right now. Would I want to go back and change things? yes and no. I wish I had NOT gotten injured and not missed out on so many things I wanted to do, but at the same time, I have learned so much that I'm glad I went through what I did. I don't know if any of that makes any sense but it does to me.

And my journey is far from over. The next chapter has begun...getting back to my love and my passion and learning how to dance all over again. And I'm not just learning how to dance again, I'm learning how to LIVE all over again and how to be grateful for everything. All we have is right here right now and I'm learning how to live in the moment. I am not perfect and never will be, but every day I try to find the positive in everything and keep my chin up and keep moving ahead. There are always going to be good days and not so good days, but the goal is to keep going...keep staying afloat....keep breathing....

And with that, day 184 has been a pretty good one....let's see what day 185 brings...

"...with a desire to change their lives. They have struggled. They have fought. They have loved. Everyone that entered this program has changed. They all had a powerful life changing experience that will stay with them forever. I hope that this will be the beginning of a new life and they will be free... Each and every life is a life worth saving."

-Dr Drew

P!NK's new video

talent

I have some amazing and talented people in my life and here are two of them! Thanks to Stephanie W. for taking the picture of me on the top and thanks to Jessica J. for drawing me.

Today was another full Floor Barre class followed by and entire JK class....it's slowly getting there....but dear LiL Knee, please heal up and get stronger...I KNEEd you just as you KNEEd me :)

"If you dwell on what you DO want, then you will get more of it." -Lousie Hay

things to ponder #59

"It's risk taking time. Be brave..."

-Cheryl Richardson

things to ponder #58

"Be brave enough to be yourself” -Paulo Coelho

things to ponder #57

You can achieve ANYTHING u put your mind to if u put in enough effort, passion and determination. #PushThrough

-TDL

things to ponder #56

"Keep digging deeper.. what you passionately pursue you will find!"

-Tony Robbins

things to ponder #55

Let go, put love first and trust what stays

-TDL

things to ponder #54

Enjoy the process Life isn't abt the destination it's about the journey Live urs w passion!

-TDL

things to ponder #53

Enjoy the process... Life isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. Live yours with passion.

-TDL

HUGS

a much KNEEded hug on day 178

"Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism."

~Leo Buscaglia

To view more pics of LiL Knee: The LiL Knee Diaries

things to ponder #52

Law #20: No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.”

-Deepak Chopra

things to ponder #51

‎"Don't forget to remember who you are....YouArePowerful YouArePowerful SayItAgain" -TDL

Day 2 of the rest of my life!

"Be an active participant in your healing... Don't let any prognosis be permanent, seek out solutions! Be strong!"

-The Daily Love-

Hello day 2 of the rest of my life! Yes, that's right, today was day 2 of dance! Back to Floor Barre followed by JK's ENTIRE class. And while I am still baby stepping my way back, today the inside of the knee didn't hurt and I felt more confident on it.

So, if it's true:

"The harder you fall, the higher you bounce."

Then I'm about to FLY!!!

1-11-11

Ok first of all, I have to start off by saying that today is the anniversary of the day I moved to NEW YORK CITY!!! On January 11, 2004 I boarded the plane with my 2 suitcases and here I am 7 years later - so much has happened since that day and I am SO grateful to be where I am right here right now. Life is not perfect but it is slowly starting to get back to normal and I'm so glad!

Today, as always, I went to Floor Barre and then stayed for JK's class but the difference today is that I didn't leave after warm-up. I stayed for the ENTIRE class! It was awesome! It was very small baby steps today, as I'm technically not fully healed until January 22nd, but it's time to start making my way back!

I felt pretty good but poor lil knee is definitely tired and sore from 3 hours of dance today. So, there has been a lot of icing and advil following class. But, it is getting stronger and I'm so happy to finally be getting back on track. I know I have a ways to go still, but just being there today was amazing! I can't wait for Thursday!!!!

"Use your fear as a compass showing you where to go. You grow & become stronger as you face your fears."

-The Daily Love-

Here I go AGAIN....

Today is day 174 of this injury and tomorrow is literally the first day of the rest of my life! While I'm not "officially" allowed to dance full out until January 22nd, tomorrow I am staying for JK's ENTIRE class, not just her warm up!

I am SO excited but SOOOOOOOOO nervous! I know it's going to be a process to get back to where I was, but I'm excited to get going on this next part of the healing process.

So, tomorrow I will be taking FLOOR BARRE followed by JK's class...

"If you believe you can get through an injury and fight back, you can get through it."

-Courtney Kupets-

Things to ponder #50

Use your fear as a compass showing you where to go. You grow & become stronger as you face your fears -The Daily Love

let's do this...

Day 173 of this injury. I have PT tomorrow and am hoping to get a few more exercises to whip me and lil knee back into shape. Tuesday I start taking JK's full class, not just warmup (but still have to be careful as it's not "fly day" yet) and while I'm excited....I'm also a little nervous. I know I won't be at 100% yet but I'm taking it a day at a time and working as hard as I can!

<------ yes that is me at my aunt's house with a can of corn trying to roll out my i.t. band at christmas....and yes, for your viewing pleasure, I included a jazz hand :)

ummm....

is it January 22nd yet??????

"it's gonna be a HAPPY NEW YEAR!" -RENT

Well, after a short visit which turned into being stranded in San Francisco, I finally made it back home to NYC on January 1, 2011 at 7:30am! And what a way to ring in the new year...landing in the greatest city on earth - a city I am lucky enough to call HOME.

And today, January 3, 2011, I just got the greatest news in the entire world! My ortho surgeon gave me the thumbs up to start dancing full out as of January 22nd!!!

It's going to be a rough road ahead....getting back to where I was before, but I am excited for this next challenge. So, starting tomorrow, I begin with a PT session followed by Floor Barre...the next few weeks I will slowly be adding in more and more dance....I cannot tell you how excited I am to get moving! Bring on the next chapter cuz I am ready!!!

For all of you who have supported me, stayed by my side, shouted "yes you can!" etc.....there are no words for the love and gratitude I hold in my heart for you. For all those who didn't believe....I'm about to prove that you can come back from a major injury and be even better than you were before! :)

"If you believe you can get through an injury and fight back,

you can get through it."

-Courtney Kupets