LiL Knee

HOPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

LOVE,

LiL Knee

"This has been a year filled with ups and downs, life lessons, and joys, and WOW moments. I am blessed and SO looking forward to the new year and all it holds..." -JK

just another day....

My new motto starting right here, right now is WHAT IF IT'S POSSIBLE ....no more fear, no more negativity....only hope and faith and possibilities!!! and LOVE.

"Value who you are. Enjoy your uniqueness and don't compare yourself with others and put yourself down."

-Deepak Chopra

‎"Tears are the raindrops that soften the soil of the soul so the flower may grow and blossom!"

-Jennifer Gimenez

So it's been another day of PT at home and working hard to get back to the dance. I will say that with the holidays brings a little magic. Meaning, yes I do believe in Santa and yes I do believe in miracles and my christmas miracle came early today when I found out that my insurance company has given me 8 PT visits! I am so excited! I am slowly finding my way back to the dance.

I am learning how to stay in the moment and remembering that it is one day at a time and I don't have to worry about a year from now or a week from now. All I need to do is focus on the here and now. I am healing. I am getting better. I am going to dance again...and I can't wait!

Revving up for what's to come....

I haven't posted in a while because I am frustrated. I want to be healed already. I am sick of the routine of my life that has become work and PT and floor barre. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOOO grateful for the progress I am making but I have been feeling stuck. I miss being healthy. I miss dancing. I miss flipping and flying. I miss waking up and jumping out of bed because it was another day of dance. I miss the magic I used to have in my life. But I know that these feelings are all just part of my process. I AM healing. I AM getting back to dance...it's just slower at times than I would like. I haven't wanted to post anything because I felt like it was just going to be me complaining about how my knee hurts and I feel stuck, but then I read the post below and it totally inspired me and got me into a different mindset. So, thank you SJ!

So what does this mean? I am continuing my fight. I am continuing to keep my chin up and keep moving forward. I am not going to the Olympics in 2012 (well who knows...what if it's possible???) but I am excited for the new year and new opportunities that are arising. I am excited to get back into studio 5 and rehearsal. Most importantly, I'm excited to get back to my true love, my passion...DANCE.

THE JOURNEY TO LONDON 2012!

Hi Everyone!!

I know it has been FOREVER since I have blogged but I’m back and starting new.

These past six months have been absolutely life changing and chaotic, but I’ve enjoyed every crazy second! After two years of absence from my sport, I finally decided to return and it has been the best decision ever. Don’t get me wrong, these past two years have been absolutely amazing and have given me the opportunity to experience so many wonderful things, but I’ve missed who I was with gymnastics. I missed being the “athlete” and having that drive and day-to-day goal of bettering myself and making myself stronger. Gymnastics made me feel invincible and proud of the person I was and I noticed I’d lost that.

Getting back into the long hours of training has definitely been difficult and made me question my ability and strength, but it’s been 6 months now and seeing the incredible progress I’ve made still makes me believe that somewhere inside of me I still have “IT”. I’m working more hours in the gym now than ever before, pushing myself back into the gymnast I once was, and let me tell you it’s not easy. Overcoming the knee injury has definitely been a setback and has limited the intensity of training at times, but it’s coming along. I’m constantly battling body aches, mental fatigue, doubt and frustration, but it always seems like every time I hit that wall… I have a great day or practice and everything is back to normal. BTW, I actually just landed my first double layout on the hard surface today and that is a HUGE step for me J. I’m slowly working my way through skills and routines, piecing together what I, hopefully, will be competing in the next two years as I set my sights on 2012.

Another big step I just took in my comeback was returning to the Karolyi camp in Texas. WOW, was I a nervous wreck going into that one! It had been more than two years since I’d been there and I felt like a complete outsider. I wasn’t sure what to expect…if I was going to be up to par, where I would stand, or if I’d still be accepted and fit in!! Hahaha, I guess I’m just a little worry wart because it was actually an amazing experience. It was great seeing all of the National Team coaches again and of course all of the girls…but the moment that meant the most and will be something I never forget was how excited Martha was to see me there at camp and how comforting, supportive and genuinely happy she was for me. Some of the things she personally said to me (sorry guys, I have to keep it a secret) are things I will never ever forget and meant more to me then she will ever know. I was still her little “pumpkin” and I left feeling as if nothing had changed.

So, as the New Year approaches and I begin to set my sights on bigger dreams and goals, I encourage you to follow me on my journey. I’m not quite sure where it will end or what is to come, but I would love for you all to be right there with me as I share all of the fun little details.

Love, SJ

My Angels....

In Loving Memory...

Xiana Fairchild was kidnapped on Thursday December 9, 1999 and not a day goes by where I don't miss this beautiful angel....

Live!

Everyone is injured!

LIVE with Regis and Kelly

Make sure you watch the hostchat from Monday, December 6, 2010 - wow!

http://bventertainment.go.com/tv/buenavista/regisandkelly/host_chat.html?bcpid=60485602001&bclid=605545911001&bctid=700744845001

cliches...

Things to remember:

"what will be will be - i'm in the drivers seat now - it's a marathon not a sprint - it's always darkest before the dawn - first day of the rest of my life - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

-Charlotte

*Note to self....

do not walk 40 blocks and then wonder why

your knee is killing you...but i had fun....

nothing like a 40 block stroll in NYC...

I LOVE where I live!!!

And I might be the new owner of the new SVU hoodie....

Firework

This is just another reason why gymnastics is amazing! And another reason I know I will heal and be back to what I love the most in this world.....

BLACK SWAN time!

goals

"the goal of any surgery is total recovery, to come out better than you were before. some patients heal quickly and feel immediate relief, for others, healing happens gradually and it's not until months or even years later that you realize you don't hurt anymore. so, the challenge after surgery is to be patient, but if you can make it thru the first weeks and months, if you believe healing is possible, then you can get your life back....but that's a big if."

-Grey's Anatomy-

I am now on a daily schedule of Floor Barre classes and PT. I'm still healing...slowly but I do believe healing is possible....and I'm slowly getting my life back. I can't wait to get back to the DANCE.